Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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