It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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