just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
