my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
