You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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