What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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