I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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