i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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