i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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