i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
