oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We are two peas in an std pod
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
