Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
