They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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