this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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