Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
