I got chris browned last night
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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