I think I am morally bankrupt
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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