Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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