oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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