brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
