Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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