I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
