Just fell off a train. Bad.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
