Where did you get a picture of my penis
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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