drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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