You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize