I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
