I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
