So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
