Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
