Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
