the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
im holly from the hills drunk
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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