why didn't you poke me back
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Are my feet made of real feet?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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