Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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