tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
