Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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