so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
