her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
