We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
