i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
