there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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