Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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