They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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