Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
