Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
