Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
