Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Randomize
