too bad you live with your parents still
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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