Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
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