I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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