yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
