You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
