Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
