You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I could have mohawked her pubes.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
