Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
