he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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