Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
