Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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