We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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