craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
