I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
