When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
