You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
